Why can’t you pay the rent?

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The monthly question most apartment managers find themselves asking at least a handful of tenants. In this hilarious piece, Cambria Clyne, the sassy heroine of For Rent, is presented with 31 real-life excuses for not paying the rent. Everything from “my identity was stolen” to “I needed drinking money for the weekend” is offered as a so-called reasonable attempt to get out of forking over the cash (or unsigned money order or check that will surely bounce).

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Now the question is: How will Cambria get them all to pay up?